


I'll Be Your Shelter

by spookysunflower



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6640837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookysunflower/pseuds/spookysunflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is struggling with depression and anxiety, and Jensen doesn't let him deal with it on his own. Jensen became his rock and his solace, but falling in love with him was never the plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jensen remembers the first time he saw Jared cry. Sure he had seen him cry during scenes, or during a funeral they both went to, but he had never seen him cry like this. A full-on, throat-closing, heart-shattering cry. It was an image that was engrained into his brain, and was so vivid in his mind that he could still see the way his best friend’s cheeks flushed as the tears leaked out of his eyes. He could still feel the way a lump had knotted in the back of his throat as he saw Jared lying there on the tile floor of his trailer. He had come in to ask his friend about a scene they were getting ready to do the next day, and he had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him. It was like everything in Jensen’s mind just stopped and he couldn’t bring himself to utter a word. Not an “are you okay”, or an “it’s okay”, because really what did he know? He had closed his eyes and shut the trailer door and never mentioned it to Jared; the hardest thing for him to witness: Jared in pain.

Many years had passed since then. Jensen no longer stayed silent when he saw his fellow actor and best friend in pain. He saw it in his eyes when the younger man was feeling anxious or depressed, even when he kept smiling for the sake of fans or work or whatever it may be that day. During interviews or conventions, in front of people, Jensen would be subtle. It would be a light touch on his shoulder, a hand brushing against the other’s, or simply a look between the two of them. And Jared knew. Jared’s chest became a little less heavy, and felt a little less like the whole world was crushing him a little more every day. When he felt Jensen’s kind eyes meet his, or feel the soft, tenderness of his fingers, he knew he would never be alone. Jensen was his safety. His shelter and solace.

“Hey.” Jared heard it in his soft, gentle voice. It was Jensen coming to check on him. He hadn’t meant to make him worry, he always hated making Jensen do this.

“Jay, I’m fine. Really.” Jared gave a weak smile and turned around to face his friend. Jensen’s eyes were full of concern and his pink lips turned slightly downwards.

“Don’t do that, Jare. Not to me. You know you don’t have to.” He sat gently on the hotel room’s bed next to him and reached instinctually, as he always did, for Jared’s large, but gentle hand and brought his fingers around his palm. He waited for Jared to accept the gesture, as he always did. He was always so patient with him. Jared breathed deeply, wrapped his fingers around Jensen’s palm, and looked back at Jensen with tear stains on his flushed cheeks and hair in his face.

“Why are you so good to me? I’m such a mess, Jensen.” Jared’s voice cracked a little when he said his best friend’s name and he shut his eyes. “I feel like I’m letting everyone down.” He shifted on the bed as Jensen drew closer to him, inviting him to rest his head on his shoulder. Jensen slowly turned Jared's face towards him so they were eye-to-eye and lifted his free hand, the one that wasn’t intertwined with Jared’s hand, and laid it against Jared’s flushed, rosy cheek.

“Jared, you are more than enough. To me, to the fans, to your friends and family, to everybody.” He pushed back Jared’s slightly damp, messy hair and gently pressed his soft lips to Jared’s forehead. Jared let out a deep sigh he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. He leaned against the warm chest more, listened for Jensen’s heartbeat, and let the rest of his tears slide down his face.

Those interactions, those moments of love and solitude and safety, never stopped between them. Even when Jared got better, when his depression got more under control and his panic attacks became less frequent, Jared never stopped coming to Jensen to be held. Jensen even came to him a couple times. The moments between them became more and more intimate and Jared became so immensely dependent on Jensen’s strong but soft arms and hushed, calming voice, that he longed for more than just Jensen’s hand in his, and he felt maybe his best friend did too.

One night in particular, after the younger man had a few drinks, and he laid his head in his friend’s lap, watching the way the red lights from the cars outside danced on Jensen’s face as he watched TV in the hotel room, his hands had found their way up to Jensen’s jawline and rested lightly there. He saw the older man flinch a little and give a slight smile but kept his eyes on the TV. Thinking very little as if he were in a trance, Jared traced his long fingers over Jensen’s cheek, his stubble, his neck. Jensen swallowed and pretended he couldn’t feel his own heart beating faster as Jared’s soft fingertips explored Jensen’s chest. Jared shifted slightly on the bed and brushed his pink lips against Jensen’s ear. “You-You know I love you, right?” Jared’s words slightly slurred but rang loud and clear all the same. Jensen suddenly felt like the world had stood still for a minute. He blinked and shook his head slightly, faced his drunk friend, who currently had a big, goofy smile on his face, and chuckled nervously. “Yeah, buddy I do. You’re drunk, though. Get some sleep, okay?” Jensen detected a hint of something in Jared’s eyes he hadn’t seen before, and Jared continued giving him that dimpled, all-too-adorable smile that still took the actor’s breathe away every time he got to witness how beautiful and carefree his best friend looked in that moment. He couldn’t imagine losing him; losing the brightest light in his life. His Jared.

A couple of weeks after the hotel room face-touching incident, Jensen found himself in his trailer, after a long day of filming, thinking about the way Jared’s hair fell in his face or the way his eyes changed color in the sun. Pull it together, Ackles. He sighed and got up to pour himself a drink. He didn’t know what he was feeling or why, he just couldn’t stop thinking about his best friend and the way his lips felt against his ear or the the chill he got when he thought of Jared’s fingers tracing lines on his bare chest.

Jared’s panic attacks had gotten less and less frequent, thanks to some counseling and his most preferred treatment: Jensen. He knew from that night in the hotel room, drunk and feeling all the crevices in Jensen’s smooth chest, what he felt for the other man was real, even if he was a little drunk. He felt himself blush every time he thought about what it would be like to feel Jensen’s lips on his own, not just his forehead. He knew it wasn’t realistic: Jensen liking him like that. He was trying and failing to be content with just being friends. He tried to avoid ambushing Jensen in his hotel room drunk, though he had almost done just that more times than he can remember. It was too painful, and besides his anxiety was getting better, so he doesn’t really need to feel Jensen’s heart beating or his full, soft lips on his forehead, or his deep, full-body laugh. No, he’s good without it. Right?


	2. Chapter 2

The worst thing about depression is there’s no warning when it hits you. One minute you’re completely fine, laughing with your friends over a couple beers, laughing about that prank you played the other day, and the next you’re hit by a giant wave of a sadness or numbness or loneliness that appears to come out of nowhere. That’s exactly what Jared had been feeling lately, and he felt that he couldn’t explain it to anyone, and he didn’t want to be a burden to others; he knows what extra weight does to people who already are carrying a heavy load. He kept telling himself he would be fine in time. Only he hadn’t gone to Jensen in over a month. He couldn’t bring himself to, even though it had been his first instinct to burst into Jensen’s trailer or hotel room and burrow into his friend’s strong arms and let him stroke his hair and tell him it’s alright. Because Jensen wants to fix things. That’s what he does. And Jared couldn’t afford to burden Jensen with something he couldn’t fix. He didn’t want to put that burden on Jensen. The burden of trying to fix a broken soul that doesn’t know why the hell it’s broken in the first place. And with the heart-pounding, giddy emotions Jared had been feeling every time Jensen’s body brushed his, he couldn’t push it, he just couldn’t.

Jensen had sensed the shift in his best friend that had happened in the last month. He had been beating himself up over it. Was it something he said, or did? He couldn’t stand seeing his best friend in pain, he already knew that. But he didn’t know Jared not coming to him for comfort, not cracking his trailer door open in the middle of night, and not feeling his friend’s long arms latch themselves around his torso, would cause him to be the one in pain. He thought Jared had gotten better, but after that moment they shared in the hotel room, he couldn’t help thinking it was his fault. He couldn’t give Jared what he needed, whatever that may be. He had failed. He had failed to be the one solace in Jared’s mind of crashing waves in a storm at sea.

That’s the way Jared had once described it. When they had had some time off from shooting, and spent the weekend at Jensen’s favorite beach. Jared loved the ocean, especially when the sun was setting and they were the only two people on the shore. They had spent the day laying in the sun and wading out in the ocean. Jared’s favorite thing to do was look for seashells. He told Jensen it reminded him of when he and his family would take summer vacations when he was little. He loved the intricate patterns and designs and how each one was different. Jensen had gone inside the hotel to grab some hoodies, as the wind was picking up outside and he knew the temperature would be dropping. As he walked back to their spot, he spotted his best friend a little way out into the ocean, staring at the incoming waves that were getting larger with every tide. Jensen dropped the hoodies and ran out towards him.

“You okay, Jare?” Jensen tried to read his face but Jared’s hair had been whipped across his face.

“I’m good.” Jared turned toward his friend and smiled, but Jensen could tell he was holding something back. He decided not to push it.

As they walked back towards the shore, Jared started to put on his sweatshirt and brushed up against Jensen's shoulder as they walked. He tried not to noticed the goosebumps he felt at the touch of the other man's bare skin, warm in comparison to his.

“The waves. It sounds dumb, but that’s the way I would describe my depression, I guess. Crashing waves at sea during a storm, that don’t stop when morning comes, when they should stop.” He looked down at his feet. Jensen knew this was difficult for his best friend to talk about. He rarely did. Jensen lifted Jared’s chin with one finger up so he was looking at him.

“Jared. Morning will come. I promise. And until then, I’ll be with you.”

Jared gave a small smile. “Thank, Jay. I know I’m not easy to deal with. Being all moody and shit.”

“Well I’ve stuck around this long, haven’t I?” Jensen said playfully. 

“Shut up.” Jared gave Jensen’s arm a light punch and smiled. Jensen always knew how to be just enough of a pain to get Jared’s mind off of what was bugging him.

Jensen decided then and there in his trailer, picturing his best friend standing in the ocean, that he would go check up on Jared soon. Maybe tomorrow night, even. He couldn’t leave him out there, alone with the waves. He needed to protect him. He knew that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys sorry it's been a little while since i last updated. i'm finishing up my school year so it's been crazy busy. i know this chapter is short, but I will have another chapter out ASAP :)


	3. Chapter 3

"Drinking and bowling" is what Misha had said. Just a couple of the guys in the cast, going out to have some fun and relax before their next big filming week. Nobody mentioned bringing a date. So when Jared showed up with Stephen, Jensen was more than a little surprised. He would have just thought of it as Jared bringing another friend along, but he knew the history between his best friend and Stephen The-Douche Amell. It was a bad breakup, and Jensen knew because he had been there for all of it. Jared came to him crying countless nights, telling Jensen about how much of a jerk Stephen had been that day, and how Stephen constantly flirted with other guys. Jensen had ultimately been the one to convince Jared to finally end it. After that, Jared's mood improved by a lot. He smiled and laughed more, and felt free to be himself. He didn't miss him even a little bit, from what Jared told Jensen one night. So naturally, Jensen was not only surprised to see the man who had hurt his best friend over and over again, but also angry, and even a little jealous. What the hell was Jared doing? 

Jensen tried his best to be civil during bowling. He normally thoroughly enjoyed bowling and him and Jared loved playing together. They loved going to this specific run-down bowling alley late at night, eating nachos and pizza until their stomachs hurt, and listening to old rock music on the way back. That was their thing, and Jensen would have been fine with sharing it with their other cast members they were close with, but not with the man who had been the reason Jared had let himself believe he wasn't good at relationships.

While they were getting their bowling shoes, Jensen pulled Jared to the side, leaning against the 'bowling hall of fame' wall.

"What's up?" Jared gave him a nervous smile. He knew where this was going.

"Jare, what the hell are you thinking?! Did you forget how much of a complete asshole he was to you?" Jensen tried not to let Jared see how upset he was, he knew Jared hated thinking people were mad at him. Jared’s face looked a bit like a puppy that had been caught doing something it shouldn’t be doing.

"Well, you know, we've been talking some lately and-?" Jared stuttered.

“W-What do you mean 'talking lately'? I thought you were never gonna talk to him again", Jensen interrupted. He tried to push away the thought that was creeping into his mind that he was the reason Jared had decided to seek solace somewhere else.

Jensen noticed Jared had been avoiding looking him in the eye. "Jensen, he's changed. He's better now, more mature, and we're just friends anyway. We both established we're not looking for relationships right now."

Jensen had no idea what to make of the 'wounded puppy' look in his friend's eyes.

"Don't worry, okay? I can take care of myself." Jared pat his friend's shoulder and gave him a forced smile as he sprinted off to join the others, grabbing his bowling shoes and bounding over to the little plastic turquoise table and chairs. 

Jensen stood there, baffled. Okay, maybe Jared was just trying to be friends with him again, but he had a feeling Stephen wasn't hanging around Jared just to be 'friends.' He watched the way Stephen touched Jared's lower back as he was putting his name in the leader board. He didn't like the hungry look in Stephen's eyes when he looked at Jared. Nobody was allowed to look at his best friend like that. He ordered a beer at the counter and downed it within minutes. 

"Jensen, your turn buddy. Put you on my team." Misha spun around in his chair and motioned Jensen over.

Jensen sighed. He was so not looking forward to the night anymore, knowing he'd have to be around Stephen for hours, having to watch him as he tried to creep closer and closer to his best friend. At least him and Stephen were on opposing teams. Everyone knew Jensen was superbly good at bowling, and if he couldn't physically crush Stephen, he sure as hell would crush him at bowling. Watch out, Amell. ~ 

Misha's team, (composed of Misha, Jensen, Rob, and Osric), was so close to beating Richard's team (composed of Richard, Jared, Stephen, and Matt.) Despite Jensen getting strikes or spares on almost every turn, their team couldn’t quite catch up.There were some surprisingly good players on Richard's team, including, of course, Stephen. To make it worse, every time Jared scored, which was often, Jared was pretty great at bowling, Stephen always found a way to touch Jared’s arm or thigh, and Jared accepted it, even welcomed it. Something about Stephen getting to touch Jared, getting to feel his his strong arms, made Jensen's blood boil. After all he did to Jared, after all the damage he caused, the shit he's pulled, he shouldn't be allowed to be anywhere near Jared. Jensen was also pretty sure Stephen had been part of the reason Jared's depression had gotten worse. And like hell Jensen was going to forgive him for it. 

"Hey Jensen, it's your turn." Suddenly Osric's smiling face was in front of Jensen's. Hey, what’s with the long face? Don't worry man, with your skills, we're gonna kill ‘em.”

Jensen really smiled for the first time that night. "Thanks, Os." He ruffled Osric's black, messy hair.

After another 2 hours of strikes, spares, gutter-balls, yelling, drinking cheap beer, and Misha dumping a plastic water cup on Jensen’s head to celebrate their win, it was time to call it a night. Jensen had also made eye contact with the employees a couple times, and they were more than a little agitated that a bunch of rowdy guys had decided to infiltrate their establishment late at night.

After cleaning up their mess of paper plates and crumpled napkins, Jensen planned on talking to Jared, just Jared, about how he was doing, and what he could do to make it better. He wanted to be there for him, and now more than ever, he knew he had to. Especially since it had gotten bad enough that Jared had resorted to Stephen of all people, to lean on. So when Jensen couldn’t find Jared, he figured he had already left, and would call him in the morning. 

Nothing could have prepared Jensen for the spectacle in the men’s bathroom. It took a good 5 seconds to fully process it, but when Jensen could focus, he saw Stephen’s, big sweaty body pressing Jared's lean, tall one, against the white-tiled bathroom wall, the two of them making out hungrily. Stephen’s hands slowly inched down Jared’s slightly exposed midriff, getting close to his hip bones that were now peeking out of his jeans.

It took Jared a second to realize the door had opened, but when he opened his eyes, he saw Jensen’s piercing green eyes looking back at him. He could read his emotions instantly. Shock, alarm, confusion, anger. Stephen either didn’t hear the door open, or didn’t care. Jared pulled away from the kiss, and continued to look at Jensen and pleaded at him with his eyes saying, “Please don’t hit him, Jensen.”

It took everything Jensen had not to hit him, especially when Stephen turned around towards him with the smuggest grin he had ever seen. 

“Hey Ackles,” was the only thing he uttered to Jensen, and with that Jensen turned on his heel and swiftly started to exit the bathroom, and get the hell away from the scene he had just witnessed. He figured it was the only way to stop himself from doing something he would regret. 

“Jensen, wait!” Jared peeled himself off of the tile wall and bounded after Jensen, leaving Stephen behind. 

He needed to explain himself. Explain that Stephen meant nothing to him, that he was just lonely and pathetic and stupid. Stephen, really Jared? He ran out of the double doors to the bowling alley parking lot, but Jensen was nowhere to be found. Probably a good thing, as Jared was an absolute wreck at the moment.

After all that Jensen had done for him, and all the feelings Jared had felt towards the man, he had let his insecurities drive him away from Jensen. He had let them convince him that Jensen didn’t want him, that he was a burden to him. And now he realized how stupid he was for believing that. Jensen was, and had always been the shelter in his storm. And nothing was worth losing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, thanks so much for sticking with me on this and for all the awesome feedback. :) sorry this chapter took a little while to come out, I accidently deleted it and had to rewrite it. hope you guys like it and all the angst haha. also, I know used Stephen Amell in this chapter as Jared's jerk ex, but I have nothing against Stephen Amell and think he's a cool guy. He just fit the role.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Events that occurred after the disaster that was bowling night. Crying & cuddling ensue.

The moment Jensen got in his car and skidded out of the parking lot that night at the bowling alley, he let himself do something he hadn’t done in a while: cry. Jensen couldn’t pinpoint exactly what made him break down, but when he saw his best friend, his Jared, become desperate enough to go back to that douchebag, he felt like he was responsible. Like he was the reason Jared had spiraled. Not only that, but he realized how badly he wanted to protect Jared, from everything in this world that could possibly hurt him. He knew rationally Jared was a grown ass man and could take care of himself, but in his mind he couldn’t think of anybody he would protect and cherish more than Jared. And that scared him, a lot. He didn’t know what to make of it, and he certainly didn’t know how to express that to Jared. 

Jared couldn’t breathe. Standing in that parking lot, late at night with only the flickering street lights, and distant sound of sirens, made him feel completely alone. That wasn’t how the night was supposed to go. At all. How could I be so goddamn stupid? What the hell was I thinking? Jared’s chest ached with each shaky breath. He needed to get out of there. Now. He started to jog towards his car, when Stephen yelled his name from the bowling alley doorway. Jared ignored him. He wanted to blame everything that happened that night on Stephen, but he was the one who called him. He still didn’t know the hell why. Stephen was still an asshole, as seen from tonight and almost every other goddamn night they had spent together. Stephen loved seeing Jensen get upset. He knew how much it hurt him, and he liked it. And the reason behind that was a mystery to Jared, other than the fact that he was a total dick. But Jared was the one who couldn’t tell Jensen how he felt. He was the coward who had settled, who in the middle of his own destruction, had hurt his best friend. 

As Jared drove out of the parking lot and got the hell away from Stephen and the bowling alley that now held painful memories instead of joyful ones, the tears immediately started to flow. It was a panicked, shaky cry and was full of aches and blurred vision and a noise that could only be described as anguish. He hadn’t cried like this in a while. It was the cry that had always sent him running to Jensen. It was something that Jared could never seem to stop on his own; Jensen was the only one who could do it. All he wanted in that moment was to drive to Jensen’s house and fall into his arms, to cry and let him comfort him, even though he did not deserve any of it. He had screwed up, bad. The sky had darkened and it had started to rain and made Jared’s already blurry vision worse. He pulled over into a gas station parking lot and pulled out his phone. Before his brain could remind him of what a bad idea this was, he shakily started to dial Jensen’s number. He needed to hear his voice, even if Jensen was pissed at him, and he had a right to be. He doubted he would even pick up. Why should he? 

“Hello?” Jared could hear the upset in Jensen's voice, but like he was trying to hide it like he usually does.

Jared’s heart skipped a beat and he sucked in a nervous breath. He hadn’t actually thought about what he would say if Jensen did indeed pick up. So before he hung up in a panic, his words started to flood out of his mouth in between short sobs. 

“Oh god I’m so sorry, Jensen. I’m so sorry I was such an idiot I don’t know why I did any of that I can’t even explain to you why I am so stupid, so immature, oh god I wish I could take it all back, I’m so sorry for-”

“Jared.” Jensen cut him off. “Breathe.” 

Jared wiped his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath, silently cursing himself for calling Jensen in the first place. 

“Where are you right now?” asked Jensen, worried about Jared doing something self destructive as he often does when he’s like this. 

“I’m parked at a gas station, why?” asked Jared, confused as to what his friend was getting at.

“We need to talk, but I don’t wanna talk over the phone. Are you okay to drive to my place?” Jensen sounded slightly out of breath, like those words were taking a tremendous amount of effort to say.

Jared almost choked. “Jensen, no I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I mean, after what happened you still want to see me?” 

He heard Jensen sigh through the phone after about 10 seconds of silence. “Yeah, Jared. I do. Drive careful, okay?”

Jared hung up and immediately began driving. His mind was racing, and the rain was still pounding down on his windshield. He didn’t know why Jensen wanted to see him, and if he even wanted to face him after the trainwreck that had been the evening, but the thought of Jensen wanting to see him gave him too much of a rush to not go.

~

Jensen opened his door to Jared soaking wet in a hoodie, long hair dripping in his face, looking like a sad puppy who had been left out in the rain. Jensen let him and pushed back the wet hair from Jared’s cheeks. 

“I’m gonna get you some dry clothes.”

Jared was so shocked he could barely speak. Why is he being so nice to me?

Jensen came back with some plaid pajama pants and a v-neck grey t-shirt. 

As soon as Jared was changed, the two of them made their way into the living room and sat on Jensen’s couch, legs barely touching, the rain making a steady rhythm on the roof. Jensen turned and faced Jared so he was looking at him.

“Look at me, Jare.” 

Jared lifted up his eyes and struggled to look into Jensen’s eyes without flinching.  


“I’m so sorry, Jensen.” Jared said in a whisper, beginning to look down again. 

“I know, Jare. I know.” Jensen put a hand on Jared’s arm. “I’m sorry, too.”

“For what?” Jared’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“For not telling you what I should have told you a long time ago. For avoiding you, for not being there for you when I should have been.” Jensen’s eyes were soft and the delicate touch of his fingertips made Jared shiver. Jensen’s breath caught in his throat as he forced the words to come out of his mouth.

“I care about you Jared. More than I ever realized.” Jensen was staring directly into Jared’s eyes now and Jared’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. He was so enchanted by Jensen’s melting stare that he didn’t realize how close Jensen’s leg was to his, or that his hand was resting in Jensen’s open palm. Jensen reached down and interlocked Jared’s long, delicate fingers in his.

“I care about you, too.” Jared whispered, their faces much too close now, so close he could feel the older man’s breath hitch as Jared brought his other hand to rest over Jensen’s chest. Jensen remembered that first night when he felt things had changed between them, when Jared began tracing Jensen’s jaw line in that hotel room, how blissful it had felt, and how pointlessly he had tried to fight it. He was no longer looking to fight any kind of feeling right now. 

It seemed Jared remembered back to that first night in the hotel room too, as he began tracing Jensen’s strong jaw, his fingertips trickling down to his chest to feel every curve and texture in Jensen’s soft skin. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. Jared’s face looked pink and flushed in the bright moonlight shining through the windows.

Jensen, still leaning into Jared, so close the warm, woodsman smell coming off him was almost intoxicating. He leaned into Jared’s neck and breathed him in. Jared let out a deep sigh, bringing him arms around Jensen’s torso, massaging the muscles in his back. 

“Jared?” Jensen’s muffled voice came from the center of Jared’s chest. 

“Mhmm?” 

“I just. I just never want you to feel like you can’t come to me. I want you to come to me.” 

Jared’s heart fluttered. His words came out in a rush of emotion. “Jensen, I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else. I just wanna be in your arms, and yours alone. And certainly not Stephen’s.” He paused. “Besides, he sure as hell doesn’t have the arms you do.” Jensen could hear the smile creep into his voice. “Fit as hell, Ackles.”

Jensen’s laugh shook Jared’s chest and Jared began to giggle happily at the beautiful sound of his best friend’s laugh. He hadn’t heard it in so long it seemed.

“You’re not bad yourself, Padalecki.” His hands began climbing up his forearms and came to rest on his biceps. 

Jared started to feel lightheaded and slightly dizzy, even though he was pretty sure the beers he had drunk earlier in the night were wearing off. 

Jensen’s warm hands that had left Jared’s arms covered in goosebumps, moved back down his arms and rested on his lower torso. He was looking right at Jared now, at his relaxed, calm expression, his eyes closed and breathing steadily. He smiled. How did he get so lucky to have Jared as a best friend? Best friends. It certainly fit them, but there was also something more, something deep and passionate and messy and lovely. And he knew Jared felt it too.

It was getting late, and Jared looked like he was close to falling asleep, his eyelids heavy and mouth slightly open. 

~

Jensen slowly got up, careful not to disturb his sleeping friend. They had both had an eventful and long night. He grabbed a soft, red knit blanket from his other couch and turned off the lamp. He gently laid the blanket over Jared’s broad shoulders, the blanket not quite reaching his feet, stopping at his shins. He sat on a coffee table, watching Jared’s beautiful face as he breathed steadily. He saw his face almost everyday, yet never seemed to get tired of his gorgeous, shining face. 

He stood up, leaning over Jared, and brought his lips to the other man's temple. A feeling of relief came over him. Jared was his, Jared was safe. This fiasco of a night had turned into one he would look back at fondly. He was still hurting of course, the image of Stephen and Jared forever burned into his memory, but he wouldn’t let Jared get away from him again.

Jensen yawned. He was getting sleepy, too. He carefully hopped up on the couch and squeezed his body between Jared’s and the couch. He grabbed some of the blanket, and brought his arm over Jared’s body, his hand laying on top of Jared’s. He wouldn’t let go. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! thanks so much for sticking with me through this story, i hope you enjoyed this chapter. the past month has been crazy busy for me, so that's why this chapter is so late. but i'm done with vacation and camp and everything so i should have a lot more free time to finish up this fic within the next couple chapters or so. thanks so much for all your feedback and comments! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! just a heads up, this final chapter is a little more smutty than the others, even though I totally wasn't planning on it being smutty, whoops.

Jared awoke to the sound of sizzling coming from the stove, the radio playing softly, and the hazy morning light cascading in from the window beside him on the couch. He forgot where he was for a second, and then all the memories from the previous night came flooding in his brain. Most of all, he remembered the feeling of Jensen’s arms around him, laying on the couch, the calmness he felt. 

He sat up and saw Jensen swaying back and forth, singing softly along with the radio, flipping bacon over in a skillet. Jared yawned and brushed his hands through his messy hair. 

“Morning, sunshine.” Jensen smiled at him. Jared blinked at the man before him, in only his underwear, looking like a goddamn model. 

Jared got up lazily, his feet hitting the hardwood floor. He smiled at the enticing man before him, making breakfast like they did this every morning. He practically sprinted as he caught Jensen in a hug from behind, his long arms wrapped around the other man’s torso. Jensen made a sound that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a sigh. Jared nuzzled his morning bedhead into Jensen’s bare back.

“Good morning”, said Jared happily, bringing his face up to Jensen’s pecking him gently on the cheek. He felt Jensen blush beneath his lips. Jared felt a warmth in his belly at this. He had dreamed of this for so long. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“I can’t believe you made me breakfast.” smirked Jared. “You must really like me.”

“Just a little. Enough to burn myself with a skillet frying your freakin’ bacon. 

Jared felt that deserved another little kiss, only this time on the back of his neck. Jensen shivered.

“You know..”, began Jared with a mischievous tone in his voice, we don’t have to go into work for another 5 hours.” 

“Are you trying to seduce me, Jared Padalecki?” Jensen said with a slight smile.

“Maybe…” Jared pressed his lips to the side of Jensen’s neck, eliciting a gasp and moan of approval. 

“I think it might be working.” Jensen could feel his heart beating faster. He had no idea they would be getting this flirty this fast, but I guess they always flirted, just without the kissing.

He looked at Jared’s little pink mouth and messy hair and decided breakfast could wait a little longer. He turned off the stove and moved the skillet off the burner. Jared had moved back a little ways, looking at Jensen hungrily. 

He motioned him over with his finger, leaning against the counter. He stripped down to his underwear and smirked as he met Jensen’s gaze. 

“What? Don’t objectify me.” He stepped closer to the other man, smiling even wider.

“Oh, I’ll be doing more than that.” Jensen said roughly. Jared couldn’t think of a time when the man sounded sexier. 

Before Jared had the chance to respond, he was being pressed against the counter, his mouth smashed against Jensen’s soft lips, Jensen’s hands wrapped around his back, longing for them to be closer. 

Jared gladly pushed his torso to Jensen’s as close as he could, and moaned against Jensen’s lips. He was being kissed like he never had before. It was passionate and gentle, but rough and sloppy and he loved it. 

Jared’s hands went from Jensen’s hair to his torso, stopping to rub his nipples with the pads of his thumb. This brought on a little moan from Jensen that made Jared hard instantly. 

“You like that?” Jared said against Jensen’s mouth, which began quickly moving down Jared’s neck. 

“So much, Jare,” Jensen breathed against the younger man’s skin. Their dicks were both visibly hard through their boxers now and were right against up each other. Jared continued to move his hands down Jensen’s torso as Jensen continued sucking his neck, making Jared breathe even faster than he already was.

Without any warning, Jared grabbed ahold of Jensen’s dick through his boxers. Jensen gasped, leaning his head back. 

“Jared...please.” His eyes opened and he saw Jared’s hungry eyes looking right at his, smiling his little sexy smirk Jensen loved. “Touch me.”

Jared was more than ready to. He reached inside the man’s boxers and pulled out Jensen’s dripping wet dick, moving his hand up and down on it until Jensen’s little happy noises made Jared almost cum himself. 

“Jensen,” Jared breathed, pleading with his eyes.

Jensen seemed to understand, as his eyes immediately went down to Jared’s now rock-hard dick. He immediately pulled down his boxers and pulled out Jared’s long dick. He wrapped his hands around it and moved his hand up and down with Jared’s own. Jensen was so close to cumming he was whimpering. 

“Jared I...I’m gonna cum.” Jared stopped and Jensen continued beating Jared’s dick continually until Jared was about to cum as well.

“Me too, baby.” Jared said.

Jared calling him baby was not helping how close Jensen was to cumming all over the other man’s torso. Their faces were both completely flushed, beating furiously at each other’s dicks, whimpering and moaning with each stroke. 

“Together,” Jensen breathed. A few seconds later, and they both came, yelling each other’s names, cum going all over each other’s stomachs, their foreheads touching as they breathed heavily. 

They both opened their eyes and stood their for a moment, dicks still touching, hearts still beating. Jared smiled and Jensen smiled back.

“That was fun.” Jensen gave a slight chuckle.

“Yeah it was,” Jared kissed Jensen on the lips once more, gently, and cupped the other man’s cheek. “Thank you.” He looked at Jensen for a long time before Jensen spoke.

“No Jare...thank you. You are the best thing in my life. And I’m so sorry I wasn’t there more for you.”

“No, you do so much for me, Jensen. More than you can every know. I love you.” Jared’s words came out without meaning to, leaving Jensen’s eyes wide and speechless.

“I’m sorry-I know that was too soon, I-”, but Jared was cut off by Jensen kissing him against the mouth, breaking their kiss to say, “I love you, too.”

Jared buried his head into Jensen’s shoulder and smiled. He had never felt like this with anyone, like he was floating on air, but completely safe and happy.

After resting in one another’s arms for a while, and taking a break to eat their breakfast, which was now officially cold, Jensen turned towards Jared and said what he had been dying to say for weeks now.

“Hey Jare?” 

Jared looked up from the bacon he was chomping on. “Yeah?”

“I will always be there for you, you know. I’ll be your shelter, your shoulder to cry on, whatever you need me to be.”

Jared’s face lit up like he had won a puppy. 

“I know. You always were.” 

 

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for sticking with me through this fic. I know i'm not the best writer, but you guys have been really supportive and gave me great feedback, so thank you! I hope you enjoyed it!


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